Patterns
Creational Patterns
Abstract Factory
Builder
Factory Method
Prototype
Singleton
Structural Patterns
Adapter
Bridge
Composite
Decorator
Facade
Flyweight
Proxy
Behavioral Patterns (To Be Implemented)
Chain of Responsibility
Command
Interpreter
Iterator
Mediator
Momento
Observer
State
Strategy
Template Method
Visitor
URL :
http://www.cs.unc.edu/~vivek/patterns/doc/
Friday, February 27, 2004
Saturday, February 07, 2004
INDIA SHINING
Who is the co-founder of Sun Microsystems?
Vinod Khosla
Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
Vinod Dahm
Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is AZIM PREMJI, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th position now.
Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
Sabeer Bhatia
Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
Arun Netravalli
Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
Rajiv Gupta
Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
Sanjay Tejwrika
Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives. There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.
You may know some of the following facts. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
01. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
02. India invented the Number system. Aryabhatta invented `zero.'
03. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
04. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
05. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
06. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
07. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
08. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now known as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6th Century, which is long before the European mathematicians.
09. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used
numbers as big as 1053.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India.
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in
ancient India.
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India.
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.
French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
Hu Shih.
(Former Chinese ambassador to USA)
ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS. BUT,
if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an ever shining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow. I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA.
Vinod Khosla
Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
Vinod Dahm
Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is AZIM PREMJI, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th position now.
Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
Sabeer Bhatia
Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
Arun Netravalli
Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
Rajiv Gupta
Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
Sanjay Tejwrika
Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives. There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.
You may know some of the following facts. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
01. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
02. India invented the Number system. Aryabhatta invented `zero.'
03. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
04. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
05. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
06. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
07. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
08. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now known as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6th Century, which is long before the European mathematicians.
09. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used
numbers as big as 1053.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India.
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in
ancient India.
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India.
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.
French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
Hu Shih.
(Former Chinese ambassador to USA)
ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS. BUT,
if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an ever shining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow. I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA.
Froogle - Google
What exactly is Froogle?
Froogle is a new service from Google that makes it easy to find information about products for sale online. By focusing entirely on product search, Froogle applies the power of Google's search technology to a very specific task: locating stores that sell the item you want to find and pointing you directly to the place where you can make a purchase.
To use Froogle, go to the "Froogle" link on the advanced search page or go directly to the Froogle home page. Type in the name of the item you want to find and click on "Froogle Search." Almost instantly, you'll see photos of relevant products and links to the stores that sell them. Or you may choose to browse through the merchandise categories listed on Froogle's home page until you find exactly the item you want to buy.
As with all other Google search results, Froogle ranks store sites based only on their relevance to the search terms you've entered. Google does not accept payment for placement within our actual search results, and advertising that appears to the right of Froogle search results is always clearly identified with the label "Sponsored Links."
http://froogle.google.com/froogle
Froogle is a new service from Google that makes it easy to find information about products for sale online. By focusing entirely on product search, Froogle applies the power of Google's search technology to a very specific task: locating stores that sell the item you want to find and pointing you directly to the place where you can make a purchase.
To use Froogle, go to the "Froogle" link on the advanced search page or go directly to the Froogle home page. Type in the name of the item you want to find and click on "Froogle Search." Almost instantly, you'll see photos of relevant products and links to the stores that sell them. Or you may choose to browse through the merchandise categories listed on Froogle's home page until you find exactly the item you want to buy.
As with all other Google search results, Froogle ranks store sites based only on their relevance to the search terms you've entered. Google does not accept payment for placement within our actual search results, and advertising that appears to the right of Froogle search results is always clearly identified with the label "Sponsored Links."
http://froogle.google.com/froogle
Top 10 flirting tips
10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not
afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about
the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an
opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the
person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the
street, never to be seen again!
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your
vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural
conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be
compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual
jewelry, a fabulous scent, a distinctive bag from your favorite store or an
interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are
not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say
hello! You can move closer to your perfect match online right now by
contacting your perfect match for free.
4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice
as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be
drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye
gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Don't stare – it's a
turn off.
2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have
the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed
them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When
you receive a compliment the best response is merely to say Thank You!
1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A
smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people
magnet. Try it!
afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about
the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an
opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the
person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the
street, never to be seen again!
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your
vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural
conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be
compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual
jewelry, a fabulous scent, a distinctive bag from your favorite store or an
interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are
not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say
hello! You can move closer to your perfect match online right now by
contacting your perfect match for free.
4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice
as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be
drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye
gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Don't stare – it's a
turn off.
2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have
the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed
them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When
you receive a compliment the best response is merely to say Thank You!
1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A
smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people
magnet. Try it!
How to look busy
1. Never walk without a document in your hands:
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do;
2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual
observer.&n! bsp;You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars;
3. Messy desk:
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile the! m high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives;
4. Voice Mail:
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel;
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed:
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look
impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays;
7. Creative Sighing for Effect:
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure;
8. Stacking Strategy:
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of
books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best);
9. Build Vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrase freely when in conversation with bosses.
Remember:
They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound
impressive;
10. MOST IMPORTANT:
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do;
2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual
observer.&n! bsp;You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars;
3. Messy desk:
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile the! m high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives;
4. Voice Mail:
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel;
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed:
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look
impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays;
7. Creative Sighing for Effect:
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure;
8. Stacking Strategy:
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of
books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best);
9. Build Vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrase freely when in conversation with bosses.
Remember:
They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound
impressive;
10. MOST IMPORTANT:
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
DBA Responsibilities:
The job of the DBA seems to be everything that everyone else either doesn't want to do, or doesn't have the ability to do. DBAs get the enviable task of figuring out all of the things no one else can figure out. More seriously though, here is a list of typical DBA responsibilities:
Installation, configuration and upgrading of Oracle server software and related products
Evaluate Oracle features and Oracle related products
Establish and maintain sound backup and recovery policies and procedures
Take care of the Database design and implementation
Implement and maintain database security (create and maintain users and roles, assign privileges)
Perform database tuning and performance monitoring
Perform application tuning and performance monitoring
Setup and maintain documentation and standards
Plan growth and changes (capacity planning)
Work as part of a team and provide 7x24 support when required
Perform general technical trouble shooting and give consultation to development teams
Interface with Oracle Corporation for technical support.
Required Skills:
Good understanding of the Oracle database, related utilities and tools
A good understanding of the underlying operating system
A good knowledge of the physical database design
Ability to perform both Oracle and operating system performance tuning and monitoring
Knowledge of ALL Oracle backup and recovery scenarios
A good knowledge of Oracle security management
A good knowledge of how Oracle acquires and manages resources
A good knowledge Oracle data integrity
Sound knowledge of the implemented application systems
Experience in code migration, database change management and data management through the various stages of the development life cycle
A sound knowledge of both database and system performance tuning
A DBA should have sound communication skills with management, development teams, vendors and systems administrators
Provide a strategic database direction for the organisation
A DBA should have the ability to handle multiple projects and deadlines
A DBA should possess a sound understanding of the business
Do you have it in you?
Installation, configuration and upgrading of Oracle server software and related products
Evaluate Oracle features and Oracle related products
Establish and maintain sound backup and recovery policies and procedures
Take care of the Database design and implementation
Implement and maintain database security (create and maintain users and roles, assign privileges)
Perform database tuning and performance monitoring
Perform application tuning and performance monitoring
Setup and maintain documentation and standards
Plan growth and changes (capacity planning)
Work as part of a team and provide 7x24 support when required
Perform general technical trouble shooting and give consultation to development teams
Interface with Oracle Corporation for technical support.
Required Skills:
Good understanding of the Oracle database, related utilities and tools
A good understanding of the underlying operating system
A good knowledge of the physical database design
Ability to perform both Oracle and operating system performance tuning and monitoring
Knowledge of ALL Oracle backup and recovery scenarios
A good knowledge of Oracle security management
A good knowledge of how Oracle acquires and manages resources
A good knowledge Oracle data integrity
Sound knowledge of the implemented application systems
Experience in code migration, database change management and data management through the various stages of the development life cycle
A sound knowledge of both database and system performance tuning
A DBA should have sound communication skills with management, development teams, vendors and systems administrators
Provide a strategic database direction for the organisation
A DBA should have the ability to handle multiple projects and deadlines
A DBA should possess a sound understanding of the business
Do you have it in you?
Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last
letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his bills.
fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last
letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his bills.
Attention please!!!!!!
First-year students at the University of Kansas Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them,
"In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body".
As an example the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger".
"Now learn to pay attention"..
"In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body".
As an example the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger".
"Now learn to pay attention"..
ENJOY THESE FACTS OF LIFE!!!!!!
Money is not everything
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals
they are so tasty.
Love thy neighbor
But don't get caught.
Behind every successful man, there is one woman
and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry
after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Wise never marry
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
A good discussion is like a miniskirt
Short enough to pertain interest and
long enough to cover the subject
Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children
Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a
day than waking up every morning
"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY"
So what? Who's in a hurry?
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk! (I don't want to be an
exception!)
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
When two's company,
three's the result!
A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget,
The more you forget, the less you know
So. Why learn.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals
they are so tasty.
Love thy neighbor
But don't get caught.
Behind every successful man, there is one woman
and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry
after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Wise never marry
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
A good discussion is like a miniskirt
Short enough to pertain interest and
long enough to cover the subject
Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children
Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a
day than waking up every morning
"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY"
So what? Who's in a hurry?
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk! (I don't want to be an
exception!)
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
When two's company,
three's the result!
A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget,
The more you forget, the less you know
So. Why learn.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
The Top 10 Journal-Writing Techniques
"Your real life begins at whatever moment you decide to connect yourself with your actions, whenever you learn to do what you believe as well as think what you believe," in the words of Joanne Brown. To this end, journal writing can help you string the pearls together of your life and give you a more complete understanding of your beliefs, dreams, goals, values, and desires - those things which make you unique. In turn, each completed journal will represent another facet of the evolving you.
Specifically, keeping a journal will help you develop your own vision of yourself and the world. By being your own best friend, counselor, coach, and manager, you can raise your self-esteem and learn how to access your personal power. In time, you will trust and believe in your own ability to rule your destiny, make decisions, crystallize and organize your thoughts, direct your energies, identify and clarify problems, develop solutions, expand your creativity, and create new challenges and choices. The uses for journals are as varied as the techniques used for writing. Excerpted from an article I wrote in 1984, the following ten writing techniques are as useful now as they were then. Have fun writing!
1. Descriptive Writing:
Describe what's going on in your world, from your point of view or from someone else's. Use as much vivid detail as possible. Some people psych themselves into writing by writing in a story-like fashion. If it's too difficult for you to talk about trying experiences, make yourself an outside observer and write about yourself in the third person.
2. Free-Association Writing:
Just put your pen to the paper and write whatever comes into your mind. Creativity overshadows structure in this technique. Free-association writing, or "free-intuitive" writing, will allow you to hurdle beyond yourself, you will be able to spontaneously explore wherever your thoughts might take you. Rereading these types of passages will give you clues to what's really troubling you. Once you understand this, you will be able to begin your catharsis.
3. Dialogues:
Write as if you were communicating to yourself, communicating to someone else, or communicating from an altered point of view.
4. Unsent Letter:
Write a letter to someone to whom you want to talk or to yourself. Perhaps someone you knew has died or a relationship has changed and you want to share your feelings with them. Perhaps you may be angry towards someone or have amends to make. You'll feel a sense of relief once your repressed feelings are released.
5. Fantasy Writing:
Use your imagination and write something based in fantasy, such as a fairytale. Or create your own success story!
6. Affirmations:
Write positive statements that you want to believe. Elaborate on each one. Also, record positive statements that people make about you or that you'd like them to make about you. If you read these statements regularly, you will believe them and then you will make them come true.
7. Lists:
Make lists about anything that's important to you or that you want to analyze or remember. Examples: food intake, budgets, personal growth plans, exercise plans and progress, professional goals, books you want to read, job-seeking plans, or business development plans. Don't forget to keep a journal with you at all times so that you can capture your great Top Ten article ideas too! Start listing at least three points and fill out the rest later if it's not convenient to write it all out on the spot.
8. Dreams:
Describe your dreams as if they were happening to you in the present. Explore your dreams, don't judge them. If you record your dreams regularly, you will be amazed how much you will remember!
9. Creative Works:
If you read a poem, hear a song, or see a photo or a piece of art that moves you, write down your thoughts or feelings about the creative work. Whenever possible, record the words or make a sketch right into your journal for future reference.
10. Business Notes:
Keep a journal handy to record conversations, main points, or action steps you'd like to make. Personally, I keep a business journal and a personal journal nowadays. It keeps things simpler, although ideas tend to flow through in either journal! Then, I cut and paste to keep things chronological and in the "right" journal.
Specifically, keeping a journal will help you develop your own vision of yourself and the world. By being your own best friend, counselor, coach, and manager, you can raise your self-esteem and learn how to access your personal power. In time, you will trust and believe in your own ability to rule your destiny, make decisions, crystallize and organize your thoughts, direct your energies, identify and clarify problems, develop solutions, expand your creativity, and create new challenges and choices. The uses for journals are as varied as the techniques used for writing. Excerpted from an article I wrote in 1984, the following ten writing techniques are as useful now as they were then. Have fun writing!
1. Descriptive Writing:
Describe what's going on in your world, from your point of view or from someone else's. Use as much vivid detail as possible. Some people psych themselves into writing by writing in a story-like fashion. If it's too difficult for you to talk about trying experiences, make yourself an outside observer and write about yourself in the third person.
2. Free-Association Writing:
Just put your pen to the paper and write whatever comes into your mind. Creativity overshadows structure in this technique. Free-association writing, or "free-intuitive" writing, will allow you to hurdle beyond yourself, you will be able to spontaneously explore wherever your thoughts might take you. Rereading these types of passages will give you clues to what's really troubling you. Once you understand this, you will be able to begin your catharsis.
3. Dialogues:
Write as if you were communicating to yourself, communicating to someone else, or communicating from an altered point of view.
4. Unsent Letter:
Write a letter to someone to whom you want to talk or to yourself. Perhaps someone you knew has died or a relationship has changed and you want to share your feelings with them. Perhaps you may be angry towards someone or have amends to make. You'll feel a sense of relief once your repressed feelings are released.
5. Fantasy Writing:
Use your imagination and write something based in fantasy, such as a fairytale. Or create your own success story!
6. Affirmations:
Write positive statements that you want to believe. Elaborate on each one. Also, record positive statements that people make about you or that you'd like them to make about you. If you read these statements regularly, you will believe them and then you will make them come true.
7. Lists:
Make lists about anything that's important to you or that you want to analyze or remember. Examples: food intake, budgets, personal growth plans, exercise plans and progress, professional goals, books you want to read, job-seeking plans, or business development plans. Don't forget to keep a journal with you at all times so that you can capture your great Top Ten article ideas too! Start listing at least three points and fill out the rest later if it's not convenient to write it all out on the spot.
8. Dreams:
Describe your dreams as if they were happening to you in the present. Explore your dreams, don't judge them. If you record your dreams regularly, you will be amazed how much you will remember!
9. Creative Works:
If you read a poem, hear a song, or see a photo or a piece of art that moves you, write down your thoughts or feelings about the creative work. Whenever possible, record the words or make a sketch right into your journal for future reference.
10. Business Notes:
Keep a journal handy to record conversations, main points, or action steps you'd like to make. Personally, I keep a business journal and a personal journal nowadays. It keeps things simpler, although ideas tend to flow through in either journal! Then, I cut and paste to keep things chronological and in the "right" journal.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
10 Biggest Brain Damaging Habits
1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood
sugar level. This leads to an
insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain
degeneration.
2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to
a decrease in mental power.
3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to
Alzheimer disease.
4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of
proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may
interfere with brain development.
5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body.
Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen
to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.
6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation
from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered, increases the
concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease
concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain
damaging effects..
8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a
decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as
damage the brain.
9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking
in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain
shrinkage.
10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the
efficiency of the brain.
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood
sugar level. This leads to an
insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain
degeneration.
2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to
a decrease in mental power.
3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to
Alzheimer disease.
4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of
proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may
interfere with brain development.
5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body.
Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen
to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.
6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation
from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered, increases the
concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease
concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain
damaging effects..
8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a
decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as
damage the brain.
9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking
in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain
shrinkage.
10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the
efficiency of the brain.
The Funniest Matrimonial Ads
FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
SHAAYAR
Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai, Key hum bee shaadi shooda ho jaayeh, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka............... joh kurrey sarey sarey, Yeah mai butaatah hoon ......... Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.
ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.
SHIRABI
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.
MINICAB DRIVER
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.
BEGGAR
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key balley doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep pace!
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
SHAAYAR
Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai, Key hum bee shaadi shooda ho jaayeh, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka............... joh kurrey sarey sarey, Yeah mai butaatah hoon ......... Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee sarey sarey.
ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.
SHIRABI
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.
MINICAB DRIVER
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.
BEGGAR
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key balley doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep pace!
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!
Useful opensource Info
http://www.opensource.org/- not profit organisation providing certificates and awards
http://sourceforge.net/- is the world's largest Open Source software development website
http://alllinuxdevices.com/- a good site to know about all linux devices
http://www.osdn.com/- powerful open source development network resource
http://freshmeat.net/ - Excellent site contains several opensource projects
http://sourceforge.net/- is the world's largest Open Source software development website
http://alllinuxdevices.com/- a good site to know about all linux devices
http://www.osdn.com/- powerful open source development network resource
http://freshmeat.net/ - Excellent site contains several opensource projects
50 most romantic things to do w/ you b/f or g/f)
1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands.
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Buy roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. S ay I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl/boy you ever want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes,tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
30. Even if you are really busy going something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you
aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands.
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Buy roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. S ay I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl/boy you ever want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes,tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
30. Even if you are really busy going something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you
aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
Good One!! Read it completly..
10 th Grade
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Senior year
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Graduation.
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Marriage.
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Death.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried.
* Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them.
They won't be there...................Forever.
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Senior year
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Graduation.
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Marriage.
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
Death.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
........'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and I cried.
* Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them.
They won't be there...................Forever.
Project Management Info
http://www.sei.cmu.edu/
http://www.iso.ch
http://www.construx.com
http://www.pmi.org
http://www.risktrak.com
http://www.infogoal.com/pmc/pmcswr.htm
These are a drop in the ocean of information available on the web.
http://www.iso.ch
http://www.construx.com
http://www.pmi.org
http://www.risktrak.com
http://www.infogoal.com/pmc/pmcswr.htm
These are a drop in the ocean of information available on the web.
Be a man - Drink Beer
Heres what fellow drinkers say..
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--(Henny Youngman)
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel
ashamed.Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come
true, than be selfish and worry about my liver."
--(Jack Handy)
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--(Frank Sinatra )
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
with fools.
--(Ernest Hemingway )
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--(Stephen Wright )
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- (Brian O'Rourke )
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--(Benjamin Franklin)
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--(Henny Youngman)
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel
ashamed.Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come
true, than be selfish and worry about my liver."
--(Jack Handy)
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--(Frank Sinatra )
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
with fools.
--(Ernest Hemingway )
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--(Stephen Wright )
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- (Brian O'Rourke )
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--(Benjamin Franklin)
Hope - The Eternal Survivor
When we are beaten or suffer a setback in our lives, we feel discouraged and want to give up. The temptations to slide into hopelessness are many. Being pessimistic about hope will only help bring about that which we fear.
Every person has a responsibility to be hopeful. Each of us can choose to dream a future for ourselves that is different or better than the present. Each of us can develop the strength to move steadily to our ‘dream future’ doing what we can along the way to model for others the change we wish to bring about in the world. True hope is action oriented and not just a dream or an illusion. Active hope inspires and energizes the will to overcome obstacles. Hope provides the impetus to begin new journeys. Hope without action cannot endure.
When we hope for new unlimited potential, it brings to the fore the immense choice of new beliefs and a new understanding of life and new hopes in the form of hope of creativity, of authenticity and diversity, and the hope of community. Hope comes from a new story. Never leave hope…because hope leads the way to your future.
Pep Quote
"Your hopes, dreams and aspirations are legitimate. They are trying to take you airborne, above the clouds, above the storms, if you only let them." -- William James
Every person has a responsibility to be hopeful. Each of us can choose to dream a future for ourselves that is different or better than the present. Each of us can develop the strength to move steadily to our ‘dream future’ doing what we can along the way to model for others the change we wish to bring about in the world. True hope is action oriented and not just a dream or an illusion. Active hope inspires and energizes the will to overcome obstacles. Hope provides the impetus to begin new journeys. Hope without action cannot endure.
When we hope for new unlimited potential, it brings to the fore the immense choice of new beliefs and a new understanding of life and new hopes in the form of hope of creativity, of authenticity and diversity, and the hope of community. Hope comes from a new story. Never leave hope…because hope leads the way to your future.
Pep Quote
"Your hopes, dreams and aspirations are legitimate. They are trying to take you airborne, above the clouds, above the storms, if you only let them." -- William James
Facing Your Fears Brings Achievements - By Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D
When was the last time you purposely put yourself in a situation where you would feel fear? Can you remember the difficulty you faced? Did you experience the intensity of the moment?
Many times we go through life avoiding situations that cause us to be afraid. Fear is appraised internally, and we decide to not take part in the activity. We recognize that there is some risk facing us and decide not to go forward. Oftentimes we totally abandon the activity and never return to it.
Avoiding situations due to fear, may limit your opportunities and growth. Something inside us resists the temptation to try a fearful activity due to a feeling of discomfort, failure, or defeat. Yet as we reflect over our lives, oftentimes our greatest achievements were made as a result of facing our fears.
We can choose to live an adventure, or live each day without challenges. It is a conscious choice. Out of our adventures come happy memories and experiences that we treasure.
What can you do to challenge yourself? What goals have you identified and shoved off to the side because you were afraid to start working towards them?
You cannot be paralyzed at the thought of the challenges that face you, but rather see obstacles as opportunities for personal growth. Trust yourself, test your limits and have the courage to succeed. Take success in small doses.
Each new experience brings with it some measure of success. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
Many times we go through life avoiding situations that cause us to be afraid. Fear is appraised internally, and we decide to not take part in the activity. We recognize that there is some risk facing us and decide not to go forward. Oftentimes we totally abandon the activity and never return to it.
Avoiding situations due to fear, may limit your opportunities and growth. Something inside us resists the temptation to try a fearful activity due to a feeling of discomfort, failure, or defeat. Yet as we reflect over our lives, oftentimes our greatest achievements were made as a result of facing our fears.
We can choose to live an adventure, or live each day without challenges. It is a conscious choice. Out of our adventures come happy memories and experiences that we treasure.
What can you do to challenge yourself? What goals have you identified and shoved off to the side because you were afraid to start working towards them?
You cannot be paralyzed at the thought of the challenges that face you, but rather see obstacles as opportunities for personal growth. Trust yourself, test your limits and have the courage to succeed. Take success in small doses.
Each new experience brings with it some measure of success. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
Virummandi - Thirai vimarsanam
'Virumaandi' has Kamal Haasan's most non-gimmicky, most affecting,
most effective performance in years, yet I couldn't help wishing he
were twenty years younger. The character is a gum-chewing hothead fond
of booze and brawls and bluster - he'll casually create catastrophes,
then calmly appear in court with sacred ash smeared across his
forehead, as if nothing's the matter - and Kamal, at times, looks a
bit old to be indulging in such mischief and mayhem.
It doesn't matter, though - the star of 'Virumaandi' isn't really
Kamal the actor, but Kamal the writer-director. If age has slackened
the jowls and filled out the gut of the former, it's also given the
latter the emotional maturity and the courage of conviction to see
through increasingly unconventional ventures, and 'Virumaandi' is
nothing if not unconventional - from the vertical opening credits on a
colour bar to the end credits that roll before the actual end, as in
TV specials about hot topics whose immediacy Kamal seeks to capture
here.
The hot topic here is capital punishment, and the film uses the
interactions of a researcher on the subject (Rohini) with two
prisoners - Virumaandi and Kothaala Thevar (Pasupathy, in a
career-making performance) - to frame its bloody story about rural
feuds involving a third person, Nallamma Nayakar (Napoleon). (The
videotaping of their accounts and of another unwitting confession
raises a second hot topic, that in this post-Tehelka world, the spoken
word has no strength. If it isn't on tape, it cannot be taken as
true.)
Kamal has often expressed admiration for the work of Akira Kurosawa
and Shyam Benegal, and the fabulous first half of 'Virumaandi' - a
what-is-the-truth examination of similar events unfolded through
differing testimonies and different perspectives - is a fitting homage
to the storytelling styles of the former's 'Rashomon' and the latter's
'Suraj ka Saatvan Ghoda'.
Ilayaraja's contribution to these portions cannot be praised enough,
whether in bringing out the festivity around a 'jallikattu' through
the brassy 'kombula poova chutthi' or in orchestrating an 'oppaari'
with different feels to contrast diverging accounts of a tragedy.
(It's more percussive during Kothaala Thevar's narration and more
quietly emotive during Virumaandi's, suggesting that the latter's is
perhaps a truer account.) Equally impressive are Keshav Prakash's
cinematography that alternates between documentary rawness and
dramatic richness, Prabhakaran's invisible art direction, a cast
that's superb right down to the extras, and Kamal's writing, which is
organically one-of-a-piece and not merely an excuse to string together
his latest intellectual musings, exhibiting a fine ear for (often
funny) dialogue and a wonderful eye for detail. (It's no surprise that
Kamal writes for Virumaandi a lovemaking sequence - with Annalakshmi,
played by the earthily ethereal Abhirami - but what's surprising is
that his back still shows a scar from an earlier wound.)
As the story segues into real-time, the narrative novelty is abandoned
and the nuts and bolts of the film stand exposed as Kamal's familiar
themes and trademarks - from 'Thevar Magan' (a 'panchayat' scene
ending with an aggrieved party, bits about a dead child and its
grief-stricken mother), from 'Hey Ram' (a shocking tragedy, spurts of
arterial blood), from 'Mahanadhi' (the jail segments, the detailing of
the hero as an emotional fool).
In the context of the entire experience, though, a less-than-perfect
second half (with more conventional displays of heroism) is a
forgivable flaw, especially when Kamal unleashes unforgettable moment
after unforgettable moment - the balancing of a glass of alcohol on a
bull's back, the almost-surreal revelation that a judge who
shortchanges the law is really a midget, the shadow of a raised sickle
on the back of a shirt, the start of a girl who kisses her lover's
framed photograph and sees him reflected in the glass. This is the
work of an outrageous talent who dances instinctively, and fearlessly,
to the voices inside his head, and that's reason enough to recommend
this near-masterpiece of a movie.
most effective performance in years, yet I couldn't help wishing he
were twenty years younger. The character is a gum-chewing hothead fond
of booze and brawls and bluster - he'll casually create catastrophes,
then calmly appear in court with sacred ash smeared across his
forehead, as if nothing's the matter - and Kamal, at times, looks a
bit old to be indulging in such mischief and mayhem.
It doesn't matter, though - the star of 'Virumaandi' isn't really
Kamal the actor, but Kamal the writer-director. If age has slackened
the jowls and filled out the gut of the former, it's also given the
latter the emotional maturity and the courage of conviction to see
through increasingly unconventional ventures, and 'Virumaandi' is
nothing if not unconventional - from the vertical opening credits on a
colour bar to the end credits that roll before the actual end, as in
TV specials about hot topics whose immediacy Kamal seeks to capture
here.
The hot topic here is capital punishment, and the film uses the
interactions of a researcher on the subject (Rohini) with two
prisoners - Virumaandi and Kothaala Thevar (Pasupathy, in a
career-making performance) - to frame its bloody story about rural
feuds involving a third person, Nallamma Nayakar (Napoleon). (The
videotaping of their accounts and of another unwitting confession
raises a second hot topic, that in this post-Tehelka world, the spoken
word has no strength. If it isn't on tape, it cannot be taken as
true.)
Kamal has often expressed admiration for the work of Akira Kurosawa
and Shyam Benegal, and the fabulous first half of 'Virumaandi' - a
what-is-the-truth examination of similar events unfolded through
differing testimonies and different perspectives - is a fitting homage
to the storytelling styles of the former's 'Rashomon' and the latter's
'Suraj ka Saatvan Ghoda'.
Ilayaraja's contribution to these portions cannot be praised enough,
whether in bringing out the festivity around a 'jallikattu' through
the brassy 'kombula poova chutthi' or in orchestrating an 'oppaari'
with different feels to contrast diverging accounts of a tragedy.
(It's more percussive during Kothaala Thevar's narration and more
quietly emotive during Virumaandi's, suggesting that the latter's is
perhaps a truer account.) Equally impressive are Keshav Prakash's
cinematography that alternates between documentary rawness and
dramatic richness, Prabhakaran's invisible art direction, a cast
that's superb right down to the extras, and Kamal's writing, which is
organically one-of-a-piece and not merely an excuse to string together
his latest intellectual musings, exhibiting a fine ear for (often
funny) dialogue and a wonderful eye for detail. (It's no surprise that
Kamal writes for Virumaandi a lovemaking sequence - with Annalakshmi,
played by the earthily ethereal Abhirami - but what's surprising is
that his back still shows a scar from an earlier wound.)
As the story segues into real-time, the narrative novelty is abandoned
and the nuts and bolts of the film stand exposed as Kamal's familiar
themes and trademarks - from 'Thevar Magan' (a 'panchayat' scene
ending with an aggrieved party, bits about a dead child and its
grief-stricken mother), from 'Hey Ram' (a shocking tragedy, spurts of
arterial blood), from 'Mahanadhi' (the jail segments, the detailing of
the hero as an emotional fool).
In the context of the entire experience, though, a less-than-perfect
second half (with more conventional displays of heroism) is a
forgivable flaw, especially when Kamal unleashes unforgettable moment
after unforgettable moment - the balancing of a glass of alcohol on a
bull's back, the almost-surreal revelation that a judge who
shortchanges the law is really a midget, the shadow of a raised sickle
on the back of a shirt, the start of a girl who kisses her lover's
framed photograph and sees him reflected in the glass. This is the
work of an outrageous talent who dances instinctively, and fearlessly,
to the voices inside his head, and that's reason enough to recommend
this near-masterpiece of a movie.
Stupid question but smart answer
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
Interesting
:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):::::::::::::::::::(-:(-:(-:(-:(-:(-:(-:(-:
:-) Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking
statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-) Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark. More
of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
:-( Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset or
depressed about something.
:-I Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as good
as a happy smilie
:-> User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:-> User just made a really devilish remark.
>;-> Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.
Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:
(-: User is left handed
%-) User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*) User is drunk
[:] User is a robot
8-) User is wearing sunglasses
B:-) Sunglasses on head
::-) User wears normal glasses
B-) User wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-) User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a BIG girl
:-{) User has a mustache
:-{} User wears lipstick
{:-) User wears a toupee
}:-( Toupee in an updraft
:-7 User just made a wry statement
:-[ User is a Vampire
:-E Bucktoothed vampire
:-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-* User just ate something sour
:-)~ User drools
:-~) User has a cold
:'-( User is crying
:'-) User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@ User is screaming
:-# User wears braces
:^) User has a broken nose
:v) User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:<) User is from an Ivy League School
:-& User is tongue tied.
=:-) User is a hosehead
- - -:-) User is a punk rocker
- - -:-( (real punk rockers don't smile)
:=) User has two noses
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-) User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-) Same thing...other side
|-I User is asleep
|-O User is yawning/snoring
:-Q User is a smoker
:-? User smokes a pipe
O-) Megaton Man On Patrol! (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P Nyahhhh!
:-S User just made an incoherent statement
:-D User is laughing (at you!)
:-X User's lips are sealed
:-C User is reaally bummed
<|-) User is Chinese
<|-( User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/ User is skeptical
C=:-) User is a chef
@= User is pro-nuclear war
:-o Uh oh!
(8-o It's Mr. Bill!
*:o) And Bozo the Clown!
3:] Pet smilie
3:[ Mean Pet smilie
E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
:-9 User is licking his/her lips
%-6 User is braindead
[:-) User is wearing a walkman
(:I User is an egghead
<:-I User is a dunce>
@:-) User is wearing a turban
:-0 No Yelling! (Quiet Lab)
:-: Mutant Smilie
|.-) User only has one eye
,-) Ditto...but he's winking
X-( User just died
8 :-) User is a wizard
C=}>;*{)) Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,
a mustache, and a double chin
Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.
:) Midget smilie
:] Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend
:-) Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking
statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-) Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark. More
of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
:-( Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset or
depressed about something.
:-I Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as good
as a happy smilie
:-> User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:-> User just made a really devilish remark.
>;-> Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.
Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:
(-: User is left handed
%-) User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*) User is drunk
[:] User is a robot
8-) User is wearing sunglasses
B:-) Sunglasses on head
::-) User wears normal glasses
B-) User wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-) User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a BIG girl
:-{) User has a mustache
:-{} User wears lipstick
{:-) User wears a toupee
}:-( Toupee in an updraft
:-7 User just made a wry statement
:-[ User is a Vampire
:-E Bucktoothed vampire
:-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-* User just ate something sour
:-)~ User drools
:-~) User has a cold
:'-( User is crying
:'-) User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@ User is screaming
:-# User wears braces
:^) User has a broken nose
:v) User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:<) User is from an Ivy League School
:-& User is tongue tied.
=:-) User is a hosehead
- - -:-) User is a punk rocker
- - -:-( (real punk rockers don't smile)
:=) User has two noses
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-) User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-) Same thing...other side
|-I User is asleep
|-O User is yawning/snoring
:-Q User is a smoker
:-? User smokes a pipe
O-) Megaton Man On Patrol! (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P Nyahhhh!
:-S User just made an incoherent statement
:-D User is laughing (at you!)
:-X User's lips are sealed
:-C User is reaally bummed
<|-) User is Chinese
<|-( User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/ User is skeptical
C=:-) User is a chef
@= User is pro-nuclear war
:-o Uh oh!
(8-o It's Mr. Bill!
*:o) And Bozo the Clown!
3:] Pet smilie
3:[ Mean Pet smilie
E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
:-9 User is licking his/her lips
%-6 User is braindead
[:-) User is wearing a walkman
(:I User is an egghead
<:-I User is a dunce>
@:-) User is wearing a turban
:-0 No Yelling! (Quiet Lab)
:-: Mutant Smilie
|.-) User only has one eye
,-) Ditto...but he's winking
X-( User just died
8 :-) User is a wizard
C=}>;*{)) Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,
a mustache, and a double chin
Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.
:) Midget smilie
:] Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend
Crazy English - Mr.Richard Lederer
Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.
URL : http://www.ojohaven.com/fun/crazy.html
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.
URL : http://www.ojohaven.com/fun/crazy.html
Saturday, January 17, 2004
java - magic number
What is a "magic number" in Java, and why does it sometimes go bad (referring to a bad magic number error when loading applets) ?
The class definition files (*.class) for Java applets are loaded over the network. Sometimes during the transmission of files, the connection may be aborted, or may be scrambled, causing class loading to fail. Sometimes when copying files over to a web server, they may become garbled or a disk error might occur. For this reason, special care is taken by the JVM and the class loader, to verify that classes are intact. One of the precautions is that every class definition contains at the beginning the magic number, a sequence of four bytes that identify a file as a Java class definition file.
For those curious to know what the magic number is, it is the hexadecimal number CAFEBABE, which is used by the class loader to see if a file is really a class definition file. Please don't ask me why it spells out cafebabe - my guess it was an attempt at humor.
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