Patterns
Creational Patterns
Abstract Factory
Builder
Factory Method
Prototype
Singleton
Structural Patterns
Adapter
Bridge
Composite
Decorator
Facade
Flyweight
Proxy
Behavioral Patterns (To Be Implemented)
Chain of Responsibility
Command
Interpreter
Iterator
Mediator
Momento
Observer
State
Strategy
Template Method
Visitor
URL :
http://www.cs.unc.edu/~vivek/patterns/doc/
Friday, February 27, 2004
Saturday, February 07, 2004
INDIA SHINING
Who is the co-founder of Sun Microsystems?
Vinod Khosla
Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
Vinod Dahm
Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is AZIM PREMJI, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th position now.
Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
Sabeer Bhatia
Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
Arun Netravalli
Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
Rajiv Gupta
Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
Sanjay Tejwrika
Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives. There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.
You may know some of the following facts. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
01. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
02. India invented the Number system. Aryabhatta invented `zero.'
03. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
04. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
05. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
06. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
07. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
08. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now known as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6th Century, which is long before the European mathematicians.
09. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used
numbers as big as 1053.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India.
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in
ancient India.
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India.
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.
French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
Hu Shih.
(Former Chinese ambassador to USA)
ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS. BUT,
if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an ever shining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow. I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA.
Vinod Khosla
Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
Vinod Dahm
Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is AZIM PREMJI, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th position now.
Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
Sabeer Bhatia
Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
Arun Netravalli
Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
Rajiv Gupta
Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
Sanjay Tejwrika
Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.
We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives. There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.
You may know some of the following facts. These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.
01. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.
02. India invented the Number system. Aryabhatta invented `zero.'
03. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
04. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.
05. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.
06. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.
07. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
08. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now known as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6th Century, which is long before the European mathematicians.
09. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used
numbers as big as 1053.
10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.
11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.
13. Chess was invented in India.
14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in
ancient India.
15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilisation).
16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.
Quotes about India.
We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
Albert Einstein.
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
Mark Twain.
If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.
French scholar Romain Rolland.
India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
Hu Shih.
(Former Chinese ambassador to USA)
ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS. BUT,
if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an ever shining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow. I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA.
Froogle - Google
What exactly is Froogle?
Froogle is a new service from Google that makes it easy to find information about products for sale online. By focusing entirely on product search, Froogle applies the power of Google's search technology to a very specific task: locating stores that sell the item you want to find and pointing you directly to the place where you can make a purchase.
To use Froogle, go to the "Froogle" link on the advanced search page or go directly to the Froogle home page. Type in the name of the item you want to find and click on "Froogle Search." Almost instantly, you'll see photos of relevant products and links to the stores that sell them. Or you may choose to browse through the merchandise categories listed on Froogle's home page until you find exactly the item you want to buy.
As with all other Google search results, Froogle ranks store sites based only on their relevance to the search terms you've entered. Google does not accept payment for placement within our actual search results, and advertising that appears to the right of Froogle search results is always clearly identified with the label "Sponsored Links."
http://froogle.google.com/froogle
Froogle is a new service from Google that makes it easy to find information about products for sale online. By focusing entirely on product search, Froogle applies the power of Google's search technology to a very specific task: locating stores that sell the item you want to find and pointing you directly to the place where you can make a purchase.
To use Froogle, go to the "Froogle" link on the advanced search page or go directly to the Froogle home page. Type in the name of the item you want to find and click on "Froogle Search." Almost instantly, you'll see photos of relevant products and links to the stores that sell them. Or you may choose to browse through the merchandise categories listed on Froogle's home page until you find exactly the item you want to buy.
As with all other Google search results, Froogle ranks store sites based only on their relevance to the search terms you've entered. Google does not accept payment for placement within our actual search results, and advertising that appears to the right of Froogle search results is always clearly identified with the label "Sponsored Links."
http://froogle.google.com/froogle
Top 10 flirting tips
10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not
afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about
the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an
opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the
person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the
street, never to be seen again!
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your
vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural
conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be
compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual
jewelry, a fabulous scent, a distinctive bag from your favorite store or an
interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are
not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say
hello! You can move closer to your perfect match online right now by
contacting your perfect match for free.
4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice
as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be
drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye
gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Don't stare – it's a
turn off.
2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have
the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed
them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When
you receive a compliment the best response is merely to say Thank You!
1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A
smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people
magnet. Try it!
afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about
the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an
opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the
person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the
street, never to be seen again!
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your
vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural
conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be
compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual
jewelry, a fabulous scent, a distinctive bag from your favorite store or an
interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are
not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say
hello! You can move closer to your perfect match online right now by
contacting your perfect match for free.
4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice
as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be
drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye
gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Don't stare – it's a
turn off.
2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have
the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed
them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When
you receive a compliment the best response is merely to say Thank You!
1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A
smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people
magnet. Try it!
How to look busy
1. Never walk without a document in your hands:
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do;
2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual
observer.&n! bsp;You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars;
3. Messy desk:
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile the! m high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives;
4. Voice Mail:
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel;
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed:
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look
impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays;
7. Creative Sighing for Effect:
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure;
8. Stacking Strategy:
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of
books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best);
9. Build Vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrase freely when in conversation with bosses.
Remember:
They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound
impressive;
10. MOST IMPORTANT:
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do;
2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual
observer.&n! bsp;You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars;
3. Messy desk:
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile the! m high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives;
4. Voice Mail:
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel;
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed:
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look
impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays;
7. Creative Sighing for Effect:
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure;
8. Stacking Strategy:
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of
books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best);
9. Build Vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrase freely when in conversation with bosses.
Remember:
They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound
impressive;
10. MOST IMPORTANT:
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
DBA Responsibilities:
The job of the DBA seems to be everything that everyone else either doesn't want to do, or doesn't have the ability to do. DBAs get the enviable task of figuring out all of the things no one else can figure out. More seriously though, here is a list of typical DBA responsibilities:
Installation, configuration and upgrading of Oracle server software and related products
Evaluate Oracle features and Oracle related products
Establish and maintain sound backup and recovery policies and procedures
Take care of the Database design and implementation
Implement and maintain database security (create and maintain users and roles, assign privileges)
Perform database tuning and performance monitoring
Perform application tuning and performance monitoring
Setup and maintain documentation and standards
Plan growth and changes (capacity planning)
Work as part of a team and provide 7x24 support when required
Perform general technical trouble shooting and give consultation to development teams
Interface with Oracle Corporation for technical support.
Required Skills:
Good understanding of the Oracle database, related utilities and tools
A good understanding of the underlying operating system
A good knowledge of the physical database design
Ability to perform both Oracle and operating system performance tuning and monitoring
Knowledge of ALL Oracle backup and recovery scenarios
A good knowledge of Oracle security management
A good knowledge of how Oracle acquires and manages resources
A good knowledge Oracle data integrity
Sound knowledge of the implemented application systems
Experience in code migration, database change management and data management through the various stages of the development life cycle
A sound knowledge of both database and system performance tuning
A DBA should have sound communication skills with management, development teams, vendors and systems administrators
Provide a strategic database direction for the organisation
A DBA should have the ability to handle multiple projects and deadlines
A DBA should possess a sound understanding of the business
Do you have it in you?
Installation, configuration and upgrading of Oracle server software and related products
Evaluate Oracle features and Oracle related products
Establish and maintain sound backup and recovery policies and procedures
Take care of the Database design and implementation
Implement and maintain database security (create and maintain users and roles, assign privileges)
Perform database tuning and performance monitoring
Perform application tuning and performance monitoring
Setup and maintain documentation and standards
Plan growth and changes (capacity planning)
Work as part of a team and provide 7x24 support when required
Perform general technical trouble shooting and give consultation to development teams
Interface with Oracle Corporation for technical support.
Required Skills:
Good understanding of the Oracle database, related utilities and tools
A good understanding of the underlying operating system
A good knowledge of the physical database design
Ability to perform both Oracle and operating system performance tuning and monitoring
Knowledge of ALL Oracle backup and recovery scenarios
A good knowledge of Oracle security management
A good knowledge of how Oracle acquires and manages resources
A good knowledge Oracle data integrity
Sound knowledge of the implemented application systems
Experience in code migration, database change management and data management through the various stages of the development life cycle
A sound knowledge of both database and system performance tuning
A DBA should have sound communication skills with management, development teams, vendors and systems administrators
Provide a strategic database direction for the organisation
A DBA should have the ability to handle multiple projects and deadlines
A DBA should possess a sound understanding of the business
Do you have it in you?
Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last
letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his bills.
fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last
letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his bills.
Attention please!!!!!!
First-year students at the University of Kansas Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them,
"In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body".
As an example the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger".
"Now learn to pay attention"..
"In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body".
As an example the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger".
"Now learn to pay attention"..
ENJOY THESE FACTS OF LIFE!!!!!!
Money is not everything
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals
they are so tasty.
Love thy neighbor
But don't get caught.
Behind every successful man, there is one woman
and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry
after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Wise never marry
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
A good discussion is like a miniskirt
Short enough to pertain interest and
long enough to cover the subject
Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children
Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a
day than waking up every morning
"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY"
So what? Who's in a hurry?
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk! (I don't want to be an
exception!)
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
When two's company,
three's the result!
A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget,
The more you forget, the less you know
So. Why learn.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
One should love animals
they are so tasty.
Love thy neighbor
But don't get caught.
Behind every successful man, there is one woman
and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Every man should marry
after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Wise never marry
and when they marry they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term
It brings so many relatives.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
A good discussion is like a miniskirt
Short enough to pertain interest and
long enough to cover the subject
Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children
Your future depends on your dreams
So go to sleep
There should be a better way to start a
day than waking up every morning
"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY"
So what? Who's in a hurry?
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk! (I don't want to be an
exception!)
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
When two's company,
three's the result!
A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget,
The more you forget, the less you know
So. Why learn.
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